


Rain to a Desert

by twentyonecreatives



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Canon Era, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-20 21:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30011535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twentyonecreatives/pseuds/twentyonecreatives
Summary: The events from the book told in the tone of the film. Like most films adapted from novels, Carol (2015) left out a lot of plot and scenes from Highsmith's "The Price of Salt." This work is a collection of those original moments from the book rewritten as if they had all made it in the film. Deviates slightly from both the book and the screenplay to incorporate my thoughts in recreating these moments and the main plot. Hope you enjoy!
Relationships: Carol Aird/Therese Belivet
Comments: 51
Kudos: 52





	1. Pathétique

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The film and the book first deviate from one another from Therese's first visit to Carol's house in New Jersey. So far Therese and Carol have met in Frankenberg's and have gotten lunch. Carol invites Therese out to her house the following Sunday and has told her she'd pick her up at 11am to drive out to Jersey. This is where I pick up the story. Some original quotes were taken directly or indirectly from the novel but the chapter is retold in a manner that identifies more with the Carol and Therese from the film, as well as how'd I'd like to begin their story...

The scarf around Therese’s neck barely shielded the cold Manhattan wind as it whipped straight through her coat. She had been waiting on the corner of Frankenberg’s for almost thirty minutes now. When Carol rang yesterday she had said she’d pick her up at 11 and it was now 11:18, maybe she had forgotten? Of course their plans of meeting didn’t consume Carol’s every thought like they did Therese’s. Suddenly, Therese felt very conscious of her idling on the sidewalk waiting for Carol’s car to drive up. She felt conscious of standing in the streets of New York seemingly having no purpose and she felt conscious of the fact that the rapture surrounding her prior two meetings with Carol probably had a much more striking impact on her than it did on the other woman. “Flung out of space,” Carol had last said… what ever did she mean by that?

As Therese turned her back to shield the cold and thought of returning home, she heard the sound of an engine pull in near to the curb. The light honk turned her around and that’s when she saw her. Therese first noticed Carol’s orange and red patterned scarf that accented the siren red of her lips.

“I’m sorry, I’m awfully late!” Carol reached across and opened the passenger seat door for Therese to climb in. She didn’t offer an explanation, and Therese didn’t ask. She was just happy to step out of the cold and into a world that had Carol in it. Already she felt her blood warming.

“Not a problem, I just thought you might not be coming.”

“Well, here I am.”

Carol was dressed in her fur coat and had her grey leather gloves on despite the warmth radiating from the car’s compartment. Therese looked over and took notice of the way Carol set her hair, the tint of her eyeshadow, and the light hue of blush on her perfect cheekbones. Compared to her style, or lack thereof, Therese felt like a girl in the presence of a woman.

“Shall we drive out to the house?” Carol asked. She had already pulled out and was headed towards the Lincoln tunnel despite still asking Therese for confirmation.

“Yes, that sounds lovely,” was all Therese could manage.

Carol turned up the heat then reached down and pulled out a mug of coffee to hand to Therese. “To warm you, you’re shivering, darling.”

Therese accepted the thermos and tried to bring its lip to her own to take a sip. She struggled as her fingers shook. The casualty with which Carol had called her “darling” felt natural, compassionate, and yet equally run of the mill as if Carol used the term easily in all conversations. The hot coffee ran through her chest and for how cold she was just ten minutes ago, her whole being felt on fire now.

Riding through the tunnel and traveling onwards toward the Jersey turnpike, they did not speak much. Therese looked all around her outside noticing the melting snow on the ground, observed birds standing out amongst the white coated trees, and thought of the scenes she could capture with her lenses if she had more opportunity to venture outside the city. She felt Carol’s eyes occasionally land on her but Therese never dared return the glance. She knew that if she looked into Carol’s icy blue eyes, everything in her heart would be revealed then and there.

About twenty minutes later they turned into a spread out suburban community and Therese knew they must be getting close. Driving through those streets, Therese noticed the fine looking houses. She wondered where they would stop and which house would be the one that had the privilege of housing Carol. They pulled up to a white, two-story house with a semi-circular winding driveway. The house looked grand, fitting for a woman of Carol’s background. But also upon looking at the house and without knowing why, Therese felt that it looked like a home whose inhabitants didn’t find it a home at all.

“Home sweet home,” Carol said in a slightly sarcastic tone. “Let’s go in.”

Therese got out of the car. “You’ve a lovely home. It’s awfully nice of you to drive me out here, I really could have taken the train and have saved you the miles.”

“You certainly wouldn’t have had to wait as long in the cold if you had," Carol noted. "But wasn’t it all the more fun letting me warm you up?” With a playful smile, Carol didn’t wait for a response and led Therese in through the front door.

Upon entering, Therese had expected to see everything that was now before her. A wide, tall-ceiling living room to the left, a grand staircase to the right, and a stretching foyer that led to the kitchen maybe, and all the other rooms off its pathway. Therese noticed the tastefulness of the furniture that added personality and class to the spaces they occupied.

“Take off your coat. Aren’t you hungry?" Carol asked. "Let me make you breakfast, it’s almost noon.”

“I’m fine, thank you.” Therese had meant it to be polite but now Carol looked around the living room as if slightly disappointed, and now unsure what to offer next.

“Let’s go upstairs. We can look out on the yard from my favorite room.”

Therese followed Carol up the staircase and noticed the swaying of Carol’s hips as she transcended up the stairs before her. She wore a tight fitting long, blue skirt with a matching cardigan. Therese wondered if the way Carol moved her hips was natural, if it was part of an act, and if it was an act, was it for her? At the top of the staircase she noticed a portrait of a young girl, probably no older than five and thought this must be Carol’s daughter for who she had come into Frankenberg’s in order to purchase a doll.

“Your daughter looks quite like you,” Therese meant as a high compliment.

“You think?” Carol smiled looking at the portrait. “Rindy. She definitely has my square chin.”

“And your beautiful eyes.” Therese added.

Carol’s favorite room was overwhelmingly green. Green walls, green carpet, and even filled with green from the window that looked out on the perfectly manicured lawn and rows of trees beyond. Carol sat down on a chaise lounge in the corner and lit a cigarette. She brought it to her lips as Therese wandered near the grand window looking out on the property. Therese felt as if Carol was waiting for her to say something but Therese couldn’t bring herself to say anything at all.

“Would you like a coke?” Carol asked as she opened a panel in the wall. Therese hadn’t wanted the cold drink but she feared once more of being disagreeable. She took the bottle happily and sat down on the bench at the foot of the bed. Therese looked around for signs of Carol’s life behind doors, for a perfume bottle or photos of her, Rindy, a husband? There was still so much about Carol that Therese did not know and she grasped at any subtleties to learn more about the woman who was continuously filling her thoughts.

Carol noticed Therese looking around the pristine room, “This isn’t my bedroom. It’s just down the hall. But I like to come in here to be at peace. What would you like to do today? We could go outside, stay in…” her voice trailed off as she waited for a response.

“I’m content just being here with you.”

Carol smiled but looked away. She seemed far off, as if here in body but her mind seemed to travel. Preoccupied over something but what… Therese could not begin to guess. “Are you hungry now?” Therese asked.

Carol instantly came back and smiled, “Starving.”

They made their way down to the kitchen and Carol prepared chicken, cranberry sauce, some green olives and crisp celery. They ate on the porch off of the kitchen. Carol started the conversation, “Do you like your job?”

“It is quite educational. I learn to be a thief, a liar, and a poet all at once.”

Carol hadn’t expected such a response and chuckled slightly, “And how does one become a poet?” she asked.

“By feeling things too deeply, I presume.” It was a comment Therese believed in when she said it but also realized was a critique on herself and how she may have let her one-sided emotions carry her away in this whole situation.

“Well, you’re quite young,” Carol brushed it off. “Do you meet a lot of people this way?”

“Do you meet a lot of people this way?!” Therese wanted to respond back but didn’t. She pushed her plate aside, “No. You mean people like you?”

“How do you come, people like me?” Carol’s eyes lit up at the back and forth.

“I think you’re spectacular.”

Carol only tossed her head back slightly and laughed. She stood up to clear their plates. “I feel like going back inside.”

Therese followed Carol back into the kitchen and pressed the back of her hand to her cheek. She knew she must be blushing and gained some confidence at the way Carol’s eyes had flashed, obviously surprised whenever Therese deviated from her usual shy and reserved demeanor. After cleaning up in the kitchen, Therese walked over to a fine baby grand piano in Carol’s living room and tingled a few keys while Carol finished up. She leaned over the keys and wondered who in the household could play. Or maybe it was just a decorative object, seeing how together the rest of the ambiance in the house was.

“Play me something.” Carol’s request shook Therese out of her thoughts and she turned around to Carol standing closer to her than she had ever been before. One hand on her hip, the other fluffing her voluminous locks, Carol looked down at Therese with eyes enchanted to see what the young woman would do next.

“I— I haven’t played since I was in school, I’m sure it wouldn’t be any good.”

“I don’t care what you play, just play something.”

Therese sat down at the bench as Carol walked to a corner where there was a small end table with a cigarette case. As Carol lit her cigarette, Therese searched her mind for something she could play. She had enjoyed playing Mozart in school but thought a sonata was too lively and a fantasy too dramatic. It hit her what to play for this moment and her fingers descended on the keys. It was Beethoven’s “Pathétique” No. 8 in C minor, the second movement. Her piano teacher from school had always told the girls to invent a story for all of the songs they played. The point of the exercise was to add emotion, purpose, and connection to the piece. A story that didn’t tell itself in words but in a collection of notes and rhythms. This particular piece had four distinct sections, it started slow, reserved, a melodic melody that had a hint of sadness to it. The next part picked up slightly, still with a dramatic and solemn tone that finished on something that felt like a revelation. The third motion had tension and distress while it gained tempo culminating in conflict and resolution. And the final portion was the same melody from the first, only this time instead of eighth notes there were triplets, creating a faster, more urgent movement, and the song ended in triumph, closure, and peace.

The whole while playing Therese thought of Carol, thought of her and Carol. Would they become a triumph like the composition she was playing, would it end in hurt and despair, not peace? Or worse, would they not even have a start and end at all. The passion and conflict with which Therese played made Carol’s breath stop. When Therese played the final chord she looked up to see Carol still standing in the corner of the room, looking straight back at her. Her eyes appeared clouded, not from detachment but from overwhelming emotion.

Carol began to cross the room. Now Therese’s breath had stopped too as she came back down to reality. Her eyes followed Carol until Carol crossed behind her. Suddenly two hands grasped Thereses’s shoulders and her entire body froze. The fingers massaged her shoulders and Therese sank into the contact from Carol, who she was convinced was an angel straight from heaven.

“That was beautiful,” Carol remarked. “You made it seem like you could barely play a scale and now you’ve brought me close to tears.”

Therese turned around to look at Carol, “It’s an emotional piece, a lot of passion, uncertainty, and declarations.” She took one of Carol’s hands that had fallen to her side. Carol looked down at their hands and felt the warmth of Thereses’s palm like a spark. “Usually when I play, I have the precision of hitting the right keys but lack the depth to convey any real feeling," Therese said. "But toady while playing I thought of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer, I've never actually written any sort of fiction before so I'm learning as I go :) I hope you enjoy the journey with me!


	2. A Goddess Becomes a Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the previous chapter...

If Carol’s breath had stopped before, her heart too had now followed suit. Indeed she had known more than Therese all along of what had begun between them. So many things flashed through Carol’s mind from being touched by Therese’s dedication through song, to shame of what she had started and whether she would only cause this woman pain. With Therese still cradling Carol’s hand, Carol opened her mouth to speak. But before she could say anything both women were brought back down to earth with a strong knocking on the front door.

“It’s me!” The voice hollered from outside. “Just let me in, I won’t be long. Damn it’s freezing today!”

Carol instantly became frazzled. She pulled her hand away from Therese a little too aggressively and Therese suddenly felt she was wrapped up in a scenario in which she didn’t belong. Therese stood from the piano as Carol moved towards the mirror on the dining room wall to dab the wetness from the corners of her eyes. “Just a moment!” She called back, loud enough for the voice outside to hear but not quite as loud as a yell. From the low, sultry way Carol usually spoke, even this slight raise of voice shook Therese. She was about to see a Carol she had never seen before.

“It’s ugh, my husband, Hargess,” Carol said to Therese. Her voice was uneasy, “I’m so sorry I didn’t know he’d be coming by today. I— “ but Carol stopped herself, unsure what else to say, and with that she turned and headed for the front door.

Therese didn’t know whether to follow Carol, introduce herself to Carol’s husband, or stay planted where she was. By time she thought through all of her options she felt she was stuck in the third. She listened as Carol spoke to her husband at the door.

“I only came to pick up Rindy’s watercolor set, she’s been asking for it all morning.” 

“I see, but couldn’t you have called first, Harge? I mean, what if I hadn’t been home.”

“Carol, I only knock as a courtesy to you, you know I still have a key. And besides, you are home, what’s all the fuss? Are you not alone?”

The hesitation in Carol’s voice said it all to Harge. “No, actually I have a guest for lunch. So please just be quick.”

And with that last comment Harge was annoyed. He pushed past Carol into the foyer and that’s when Therese had decided to present herself as if to try to make the situation any less uncomfortable for everyone involved.

“Harge, this is Ms. Therese Belivet. Therese, my ex-husband Harge.” The way Carol emphasized the “ex” of “ex-husband” made Therese know it was stressed for her to pick up on. It also had the tone of an apology somewhere underneath it.

Harge looked annoyed, not because of Therese but because of Carol’s adding the “ex” in front of “husband” at all. Therese sensed that their separation must have been recent, and that it seemed civil but unfinished. Maybe Harge still thought he’d get Carol back, Therese thought.

Harge nodded at Therese and looked her up and down. “How do you do? And how do you know my wife?”

Therese swallowed hard to wet her vocal chords enough to speak but as she opened her mouth Carol interjected, “Therese helped me at Frankenberg's when I went to buy a doll for Rindy. I absentmindedly had forgotten my gloves and Therese was kind enough to return them to me.”

“Yes, it’s true,” Therese added, “It’s lovely to meet you. Your wife has been extremely kind in return.” Carol shifted her shoulders and rubbed the back of her neck upon hearing Therese say “your wife.”

Harge half-smiled at Therese before turning to climb the staircase. Carol rushed after him and without turning around he quietly said to Carol, “What the hell do you get yourself into…” Although his tone was low it was loud enough for Therese to hear, and as Carol disappeared up the stairs after Harge, Therese felt the sudden need to go. She located her things and buttoned up her coat. Standing near the bottom of the stairs she waited for Carol to return.

Upstairs Carol anxiously watched Harge collect some of his things from the medicine cabinet while he held Rindy’s watercolor set underneath his arm. “Are you going to come by to bring Rindy her presents?” Harge asked, his tone was sweet, wanting.

“No, I think I’ll just give them to her here when I have her for Christmas Eve.”

“Carol why do you have to be this way?” Harge beseeched. “We can still be a family for our child’s sake, you don’t need to be alone.”

“I’m not alone.”

“Yeah, isn’t that always the problem…” his voice trailed off.It hurt Carol to hear but she knew Harge was hurting too. “Can I stop by around 8?” Harge asked.

“Oh, Harge! What’s the purpose?” Carol cried. Tired of his insistence, tired of him expecting her to bend to his will. It had been a month or longer since he had officially moved out and the only thing Carol missed about their old life was not having to count the days until she’d see her daughter again.

“This concerns Rindy,” Harge ominously concluded. Carol shivered, fear began to creep into her eyes and she suddenly turned agreeable.

They came back downstairs and Carol saw Therese waiting in the hall with her coat on. She gave her a look as if to say, “Please. Just one moment,” and Therese seemed to understand. Carol walked Harge to the door and he turned around to kiss her on the cheek and whisper something in her ear that Therese couldn’t hear. He gave Therese a quick smile and wave goodbye before heading on his way down the driveway.

Before Carol even closed the door behind her Therese said, “I better go. It’d be best if I go, right?” She wanted to convey to Carol that it was okay, that whatever was happening here wasn’t Carol’s fault. But truth be told Therese felt very unsettled herself and needed to go and clear her head.

“Yes…” Carol sighed. She didn’t apologize but added, “Let me drive you back.”

“No! Please, you’ve hosted such a lovely afternoon, I’d be happy to take the train home.” Therese couldn’t bear the idea of driving in the car back with Carol, silent. Wanting to ask her so many things but not wanting to burden her any more. She also thought of Carol driving back in the dark alone, with nothing but open road to let her thoughts distract her into sadness or god forbid an accident. “I insist, please," Therese persisted.

Carol appeared relieved, she wasn’t sure herself she was in a fine enough state to drive to Midtown and back. “All right, I’ll drive you to the station. There’s a train that leaves at 4.”

As Therese suspected, the ride to the train station, although short, was silent. Not even the Christmas carols of this morning filled the vehicle and Therese could feel her heart breaking thinking of the pain Carol must be going through. Therese knew just about nothing of Carol’s life or the things she was facing. But still she thought of how she wished she could throw her arms around the woman, let her cry in her arms while she stroked her hair. She also thought of how silly she was, developing such a crush on a woman whose mind was being pulled in ten different directions all at once.

They reached the station and Carol looked over at Therese. “Will I see you again?” Carol tenderly asked.

Therese couldn’t imagine a world where she wouldn’t see Carol again! A spark illuminated her eyes as she assured Carol, “Yes, yes of course!”

Carol looked down and smiled. When she brought her eyes back up to Therese’s level their eyes met and lingered. Carol’s smile softened and her eyes filled with longing. Therese, staring back into Carol’s blue eyes still visible in the evening light, detected an apology in Carol’s gaze for the way the afternoon had ended.

“Thank you for a lovely Sunday,” Therese said, and with that she leaned towards Carol and kissed her on her left cheek. It was quick but Carol felt the warmth of Therese’s skin brush against her own before Therese’s two lips pecked beyond the corner of her mouth. She was shocked Therese had initiated the contact and too stunned to reciprocate before Therese had pulled away. A friendly, customary kiss goodbye had never been so delicious. When Therese pulled away she was slightly flushed with that innocent, school-girl-like smile across her face. Carol watched her exit the car towards the platform, brought a hand up to her cheek where Therese’s soft lips had been, and sighed. She drove away into the dusk.

The train soon came and Therese boarded an almost empty car. She found a seat in the final row and sat down near the window. Not before long the train started up and carried her father and farther away from Carol. Suddenly, out of no where, Therese began to cry. Every emotion she had felt from first laying eyes upon Carol in the department store to the moment she left her just now overcame her. She didn’t know why she wept, perhaps because she had never ached for anyone in her life the way she did for Carol, maybe it was due to the pure ecstasy she felt every time they had touched skin, or could it have been from seeing that her goddess was indeed a human suffering in this world like everyone else? Of course it was all the above. She needed more, needed to know more about Carol like her life depended on it. And she would die a little every day until she saw her again.


	3. Alone Together on Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off the first half of Chapter VII if you're following from the book. Therese gains greater insight into the troubles Carol is facing and the two continue learning more about each other's lives. As always, hope you enjoy and thanks for being here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kind words in previous comments! I too respect the adapted screenplay by Nagy and the original plot and dialogue from the novel. Obviously they can't make a film 6 hours long and Nagy had to pick and choose what to include, so I am quite enjoying re-imagining the book's plot in an attempt to extend the version of Carol and Therese we love from the film.

Christmas Eve, December 24th. Therese had forty-five minutes until her last shift at Frankenberg’s began. She hurried West towards Madison from Park and navigated around the other New Yorkers doing last minute holiday shopping. In her pocket she clutched a tiny black box that held inside a silver chain with the Saint Christopher medallion. Sister Alicia had given her the necklace when she was thirteen years old and although Therese wanted to gift Carol something special for Christmas, Therese couldn’t bring herself to pawn the delicate little thing.

At the consignment shop an hour ago Therese pondered, thinking of Sister Alicia… her tall, wide frame that protected Therese when she had needed it most, her round glasses that framed her kind, reddish face, and the compassion she had shown Therese one Christmas when she knitted her a pair of green knit gloves so Therese would not feel so alone when all the other girls received gifts from family. No, she could not part with the silver chain that represented Sister Alicia who had been the only love Therese was shown through her adolescent years. Besides, Saint Christopher was the patron saint of blessings over travel, and Therese could sense she needed all the strength imaginable to embark upon whatever journey lie ahead.

The prior Saturday, Therese had noticed a black, leather handbag in a shop window on Madison Avenue. Instantly upon sight the bag reminded her of Carol. It was chic, stylish, luxurious, everything she associated with the allure of Carol. She had thought to herself, “even if I never see Carol again, I must send it to her anyway,” and here she was today with seven crisp ten dollar bills, a couple singles, and a nickel freshly earned from her season at Frankenberg’s. Of course Therese did not have the income level to be spending such a sum on the woman, she had been saving to enter a photographer’s society and take courses in her field. But all of that seemed unimportant now for Therese was in that stage of love where all she cared about was showing Carol how truly special she was to her.

“Would you like that gift wrapped, ma’am?” the salesgirl inquired. She was helpful, youthful, probably near Therese’s age and had the look of innocence Therese remembered she used to have only about a week or so ago.

“Yes, please. And can I leave it here and pick it up later tonight?” Therese said.

“Not a problem, ma’am,” the salesgirl assured. “We close tonight at 7.”

Therese pocketed her receipt and made her way towards the department store. She chuckled remembering what she had told Carol about learning to be a thief, a liar, and a poet all at once while working at Frankenberg’s. The thief aspect was due to an incident her first week on the job where she had bought a roast to bring home for her and Richard’s dinner that was stolen from her locker while she worked at the counter. If the animals at the Frankenberg’s zoo were willing to steal a hunk of meat, surely Therese didn’t trust leaving her gift for Carol in the employee’s room unattended!

From the onset of the memory, Therese began to think more deeply about Richard. They had been dating for almost a year and a half and in all those months spent with him, Therese never had felt for Richard what she had felt for Carol upon just laying eyes on the woman across the store front the day they had met. She thought it was because she wasn’t ready to marry yet, maybe because Richard was always switching from one profession to another and she resented the way men could so easily do so, maybe it was the way he doted on her and professed his love for her all the while her knowing it was impossible for his love to be true with how little she gave him. But Richard in all his hubris and naivety, had a good heart and good intentions when it came to her. Therese simply knew she could never and would never want to be all the things he planned for their joint future. And now that reason had a name.

Thinking work may be less busy with the holiday less than forty-eight hours from now, Therese was shocked at the heavy inflow of customers coming in and out of the doll department. And today they were even more frantic, curter in ensuring all last-minute purchases had been secured. In between clients Therese adjusted her uniformed Santa hat, the one she had rolled her eyes to have to wear and now cherished at the thought that it had entertained Carol when they first met. She hadn’t heard from Carol in a few days and thought how she would call Carol later that evening to wish her a merry Christmas.

“Miss Belivet! Come!” It was Mrs. Hendrickson calling Therese to the store’s entrance. Therese signed for a telegram and was instantly shooed to return back to work. Therese tore the telegram open. It read:

**MEET YOU DOWNSTAIRS AT 5PM. CAROL.**

Therese crushed the telegram in her hand as if the ink from “CAROL” would be tattooed on her palm forever. For as ecstatic as she was, Therese thought of how it was Christmas Eve, surely Carol had had plans… but something must have fallen through for her to send a message. Therese felt a ting of sadness, not at the possibility of being a back-up but at the thought that something must have happened for Carol to want to see her on a night she surely should be spending with family and friends. The rest of the shift dragged as Therese counted the seconds until she would be able to lay eyes on Carol again.

At 4:45 Therese clocked out of her shift for a final time and emptied her remaining few things from her locker. She had wanted to race up the two flights of stairs to reach the main entrance of Frankenberg’s lobby but thought rationally and walked slowly. She already could sense the heat rising in her chest and knew she had to take a moment to calm herself before she’d be reunited with Carol in moments.

When she reached the main floor she had spotted Carol before Carol had spotted her. Carol was in her usual fur coat that made her look tall and grand and which overwhelmed Therese’s senses every time. Therese wished in that moment she had her camera on her to capture Carol just as she was in that moment, her hair perfectly framing her high cheekbones and her lips more vibrant than Santa’s suit itself.

“Hello,” Therese now faced Carol, “I’m all through here.”

“Through with…?” Carol asked.

“Working here!” Therese added. “I begin a new job in a few weeks end.”

Therese thought Carol would ask more on that topic but she only sighed and said, “Oh.” Carol normally seemed distant and elusive but today she seemed sullen, slightly defeated.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be free tonight,” Carol said. “Are you free?”

“Of course.”

When they exited the building there was a fresh layer of snow coating the ground that hadn’t been there when Therese arrived at the store earlier. The city had quieted from during the day and Carol asked Therese if there was a place they could go for coffee. Like Therese sensed this morning, something must have happened to Carol today to explain this mood and it disquieted her.

When they sat down at a small bistro-café, Therese decided to ask Carol if something had happened.

“Something too long to explain,” Carol forced a smile. “Please don’t let me keep you from your plans tonight if you have them.”

Therese then remembered the handbag she had planned to pick up on her way home from her shift. She didn’t want to pick it up with Carol with her and she also didn’t want to leave it there while the shop was closed for the coming days’ holidays.

“Don’t worry,” Therese assured her. “I don’t have plans until tomorrow.” Therese paused. “There just is something I have to pick up by 7 at a shop around the corner. If I go quick, you won’t wait for me, will you?”

Carol reached across the table and patted the top of Therese’s hand with her own. “Yes, I’ll wait,” she said. And took her hand back to sip her coffee.

Therese practically flew to retrieve the package and hurried back to the bistro where Carol was. When she returned Carol was through with her coffee but the two sat until Therese finished hers.

Carol made small talk asking about Therese’s day at work but from her tone Therese knew she was as bored with this conversation as she was. Every moment that passed without knowing what was going on in Carol’s mind suffocated Therese until she finally couldn’t keep herself in these surface-level anecdotes any longer.

“Carol, please,” Therese said. “Please tell me what’s going on.”

“I’ve been absolutely no fun tonight, haven’t I?” Carol looked away and laughed under her breath. “The truth is I’ve been in Midtown today to meet my lawyers.”

“Are you getting a divorce?”

Carol was a little shocked at Therese’s forwardness but sensed it was because she cared. “Yes, I am,” was all she said.

“Does he have your daughter?”

“Yes,” Carol sighed. “I was supposed to have her tonight and he tomorrow but things have changed.”

Therese stared piercingly at Carol. Although she did not know Carol’s situation or what had happened to result in Carol not spending Christmas Eve or day with her child, she felt all the compassion and empathy in the world towards her. At her young age, Therese could not relate to the pain of such a circumstance but she broke just knowing Carol was breaking.

“Let’s get out of here,” Carol lifted her head and put on a pleasant face. “Want to take a drive out to Jersey?”

“Yes, yes of course.”

On the way to Carol’s house they stopped at a roadside restaurant that was famous for fried-clam sandwiches. They sat at the counter and ordered their meals and more coffee. Not wanting to talk about herself any longer, Carol switched the conversation to Therese.

“Do you see anyone, Therese?” Carol brought up.

“Well, sort of,” Therese wasn’t sure how she wanted to illustrate that reality of her life to Carol. “There is Richard.”

“Richard…” Therese hated the sound of his name rolling off Carol’s tongue. “And how long have you been together?”

Therese really didn’t want to spend her precious moments with Carol talking about Richard but figured it had to come up eventually. “A year and half next month, actually.”

Carol raised her eyebrows. “Sounds serious, I’d say.”

“Not really,” Therese assured, “he’d like to marry me but I don’t think I would.”

“Oh?” Carol continued, “Men sometimes rush marriage so they can get to that certain, familiarity, if you know what I mean.”

“I have slept with him two or three times already if that’s what you mean.” Carol was so surprised Therese had said that she almost choked on her coffee. She didn’t expect it from Therese seeming so young, but in a way it comforted Carol to know she wasn’t as innocent as suspected. “Well, that’s that.” Carol concluded.

“It wasn’t all that great,” Therese laughed. “Maybe we’re doing something wrong.”

“Worth another go, maybe?” Carol and Therese both laughed at that. Both had needed levity in an evening that had felt quite heavy and it was a silly comment with both women knowing quite well what was brewing between them.

“If that’s not satisfactory tell me what you like about him,” Carol asked.

“Well, he—” Therese stopped to truly think what it was about Richard she liked, or had liked initially when they had met. “He has a lot of ambition, although it isn’t focused. And he sees me as a person, not just a girl that exists for him. Oh, I suppose I like his family too.”

Carol listened intently, “Well lots of people have families, you know. But it doesn’t seem like you love him from the way you speak.”

“Do you love your husband?” Another thing Therese was curious to know.

“I did,” Carol trailed. “In the beginning we were very much in love, or so we thought we were. And I married him because it seemed the right thing to do when you’re twenty. But it doesn’t seem like you’re making the same mistake I did. Have you ever been in love, Therese?”

Right now, this! Therese thought, but was this love that she was feeling? She still couldn’t figure out her feelings for Carol enough to put a label on such a phenomenon, but from what she read in books and saw in movies, how could this not be that? “No, I don’t think I have.”

“But wouldn’t you like to be?” Carol smiled. Therese only smiled back.

“Do you believe Harge still loves you?” Therese questioned.

Carol was seemingly ready to end this conversation but Therese saw this as a chance to learn more and more about Carol. “I believe he thinks he does. I used to think so too until I realized Harge doesn’t really know what love is.”

“Does he love Rindy?”

“If there’s anything in this world he truly loves, it’s Rindy.” Carol said confidently. “He absolutely dotes on her, as do I…”

“And you don’t think you can make it work between the two of you?”

“Well! This is some conversation for Christmas Eve, isn’t it?” Carol was playful in her words but Therese knew she was ready to close the window she had opened into the conversation of her life.

“It’s just I’d like to know everything about you,” Therese said.

Carol’s lips peaked into a small smile and she looked down. She placed her hand on Therese’s thigh and gave the area above her knee a quick squeeze. “Let’s go home,” she said.


	4. Tell Me Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therese spends the night at Carol's on Christmas Eve and the two enjoy the holiday together while exchanging information about their pasts. Introduction of Abby in a reworked version as told in the novel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all extremely kind for reading, I hope you are enjoying the progression!

When they got back in the car headed towards Carol’s house, Carol’s mood had quite improved from earlier. She was livelier now, less serious altogether and Therese was delighted to think she had something to do with it.

“How rotten I’ve been! Both Sunday and tonight,” Carol said. “We haven’t even celebrated your liberation from that shop counter, where do you want to go? We can grab dinner in Newark… or I can take you back to Manhattan if you’d like.”

“No, I don’t want to go anywhere for myself,” Therese assured. “Wherever you’d like to go I’d like to be.” Therese’s mood now was quite jovial too, when they were together it always seemed dependent on the state of Carol’s.

They headed along NJ-4 towards the Garden State Parkway when Carol got the most marvelous idea. She turned giddy like a child and said, “I know! Why don’t we stop and get a Christmas tree? I haven’t one at home, we can decorate it together.”

“That’s the best idea you’ve had today!” Therese exclaimed, loving the idea of doing something so intimate together to celebrate Christmas Eve.

“Well, the second.” Carol said.

Therese turned towards Carol from daydreaming out the window, “Huh?” she asked.

“The second best thing,” Carol repeated herself. “The first was sending you that telegram this afternoon.” Therese blushed and thought she’d melt right into the leather of the car’s seats. She could absolutely pinch herself and wished Carol talked this sweetly to her all the time. Perhaps she would, Therese thought, if her current circumstances weren’t so heavy. She soaked up every second of this moment, the two of them giddy and ablaze.

“You really have been an angel for letting me dampen your evening.” Carol added. Maybe she had been selfish in asking Therese to meet her tonight knowing how the events of the day had affected her so. Therese knew none of what she was facing, well, she knew more after tonight. But Carol began to feel guilt creeping in. She knew she wasn't being fair bringing the young girl into her world of problems.

But if only Carol knew, to Therese any moment whether happy or sad, lively or dull was better than any moment she spent without her. All Therese said was, “I’m so glad you called.”

Surprisingly to both women, the Christmas tree farm they pulled into had a handful of beautiful trees left. Carol told Therese to select a medium sized one and paid. The attendants were able to squeeze the tree up the center of Carol’s car and the two drove onward to begin their festivities. During the ride Therese and Carol giggled. The tree took up most of the car’s compartment and both women were forced to the polar ends of each side. Therese, with her face full of branches and pines, inhaled deeply to get a full breath of the tree’s holly and evergreen scent. She closed her eyes and listened to Bing Crosby sing _White Christmas_ on the radio and tried to engrave this moment in her memory forever. Never had she been so happy before on Christmas or Christmas Eve, and she felt the night was only beginning.

As soon as they walked through Carol’s front door they placed the tree in the living room and took off their coats. Carol went to turn on the radio that was playing infinite loops of dreamy Christmas songs and she poured them both a drink. Whiskey with a splash of water. Carol brought in Christmas tree ornaments, white felt to create a skirt of snow around the tree, and a petite angel figurine to go at the top. Carol was taller so she strung the lights. Therese watched Carol circle the tree with her arms raised to reach the top and her eyes lingered at her slim waist and long figure. She thought of going up to Carol then and there, circling her arms around her waist and hugging her from behind. “I love you,” she wanted to say. But now wasn’t the right time.

Therese placed the tree ornaments based on color, size, whether they were classic, made of glass or whimsical. Carol was impressed by the outcome. “You certainly have an eye for design,” she said.

While they decorated the tree they talked about silly things, laughed over events they had recently experienced, and the topic of past Christmases naturally came up. Carol mentioned a year when she was eight or nine and received the most grand train set. That, she said, was the best present she had ever received.

“Tell me about your family, Carol” Therese asked.

“What would you like to know?” 

“Everything!” they both said at the same time. Carol had anticipated Therese's response and imitated her voice and doe eyes. Carol laughed and Therese rolled her eyes. “I was born in Washington state and my father still lives in the same town I grew up in. They say I look more like him than I do my mother, I tend to agree.”

“Do you have brothers or sisters?” Therese pressed on.

“A sister. Elaine, she lives in Virginia with her three children. Older than me and quite dull if I may add,” Carol smirked. Could you blame her for being dull! Therese wondered. For any woman next to Carol didn’t have a chance.

“So strange,” Therese said, “to think of you with a family.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because I just think of you as you.” Therese wasn’t looking at Carol and took a sip of her drink.

How strange she is! Carol thought endearingly. A mystery and truly flung out of space…

“All right, now your turn.” Carol said.

“There isn’t much to know about me.”

“Save it, Belivet, this is a two-way street,” Carol said with one eyebrow raised. “Now I want to hear everything about you.”

Therese told Carol about her father first. How he was a lawyer who always wanted to be a painter. He was a kind and gentle man but because he never pursued his dream as a painter, he didn’t make a very good lawyer. Therese believed that her mother’s nagging over his ill ability to provide for the family ultimately weakened his immune system and brought him to his death. Shortly after her father passed and at the age of eight, Therese’s mother had brought her to Sister Alicia’s care at the school in Montclair. At first her mother visited her frequently but later she began to travel the country extensively as a concert pianist. By age ten, Therese’s mother had remarried and was beginning a new family with her new husband. They settled in Long Island and invited Therese to leave the school and come live with them, but just the fact that her mother invited her rather than insisted upon it made Therese know she was not welcome. Carol was shocked listening, couldn’t believe any mother would abandon her child like that to start a new life. Couldn’t imagine doing that to Rindy…

After Therese returned to the school, her mother visited her about four times more. One of the times her mother brought Therese’s half-brother and she knew in that moment she no longer belonged. It would’ve been easier, she told Carol, if both of her parents had died, if she were orphaned. Having her mother reject her while alive was too horrid to bear and she finally asked her mother to stop visiting her at the school. And to her sadness but not shock, her mother never returned. The last time she saw her mother was when she was fifteen years old.

Therese’s eyes felt heavy now and she was regretful to have brought down the mood that had been so cheerful. Carol listened intently the whole time Therese spoke. She felt a ping of sadness to learn the upbringing Therese came from, so different from her own of family, love, and luxury. “Do you think you’ll ever want to see her again?” Carol asked.

Immediately Therese responded, “No.” A moment passed and, “I wouldn’t like to talk about this anymore.” The tables had turned where Carol now wanted desperately to know more, to comfort Therese for the weight she carried from her past.

Carol sat across from Therese on a sofa opposite the other woman and extended her hand tenderly for Therese to grab. “I’m glad you told me,” she said. Therese held Carol’s hand and looked deeply into her eyes. She was touched and beyond grateful to Carol. She hadn’t even told Richard the entire truth of her background and felt a cathartic release of sharing this baggage with someone, someone special.

Looking up at an antique clock on the wall Carol was shocked, “It’s already 1:30 in the morning! Merry Christmas, Therese.”

“Merry Christmas, Carol.”

Carol brought Therese’s hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles delicately. She then let go of her hand, rose, and picked up their glasses to bring to the kitchen. “You’d better stay the night at this point, is that alright with you?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“I’ll be sure to bring you back bright and early tomorrow. What time do you have plans?”

Plans? Oh, right. She did indeed have plans. Richard was picking her up at noon to spend the day with his family and never did an event seem so meaningless in her mind than right now. “I’m with Richard’s family tomorrow but it’s not important… I don’t have to be back by any time,” Therese said.

“Nonsense! You should be good and go with him.”

Therese resented that. She didn’t want anyone telling her to be good or to appease Richard and certainly didn’t ever want Carol to. She fantasized that Carol would say, “Then sleep in! Spend the day with me, we’ll make breakfast and lounge in our pajamas all day sipping eggnog and eating sugar cookies until our stomachs ache…” but none of this was in Carol’s style and Therese knew she was drawn to Carol for exactly who she was.

Therese feigned a smile and said, “Yes, that’d be best.” She waited to see if Carol would react, she didn’t. Therese continued, “as long as I’m back by 11 I should have plenty of time to ready myself.”

“Don’t worry at all, I’ll see to it.”

Carol was intuitive, she sensed that her agreeableness towards Therese honoring her commitments towards Richard slightly aggravated the other woman. She didn’t say these things or act in this manner to toy with Therese or depict herself as indifferent, although she feared it may have been received that way. The truth in it was Carol had to figure herself out first, she couldn’t further derail Therese’s life outside of its current reality with her work, her friends, her Richard. The wisdom of experience and age was well within Carol and she saw that Therese would drop her plans if Carol only said the word. And after exploiting that tonight, she mustn’t do it tomorrow as well.

Carol led Therese upstairs towards a guest room and pulled down the covers of the queen-size bed. She placed a set of pajamas in the guest bathroom and assured Therese she would find everything she needed in there. If not, just holler. When Carol left, she closed the door behind her and Therese flopped back-first onto the bed. It was plush, softer than hers at home and knowing Carol would be sleeping in the other room nearby was enough for now. She changed and washed up before burying herself beneath the covers. In this bed alone she didn’t feel like the princess, she felt like the pea! She was a petite woman and couldn’t remember a time if there ever was one that she had an entire queen bed to herself.

When Therese awoke she couldn’t remember how long ago she had fallen asleep and saw no nearby clock to give insight as for the time. She heard a faint humming coming from outside her window and the sound of whispering voices. Understanding it not to be a dream, Therese followed the noise to her window. When she looked outside she saw a seemingly tall, slender woman standing in the front row of an open-topped car. Who drives in an open-topped car in winter? Therese thought. The woman in the car was looking up, but not at Therese, at Carol. Seen from the window next to Therese’s room, Carol was there with her robe open showing the camisole she was wearing underneath. The moonlight danced off Carol’s almost translucent skin and Therese behind her window felt Carol unattainable and otherworldly all over again.

“Care to go for a spin?” the woman from the car called up. Her voice was playful, free-spirited. Therese sensed she and Carol must be close for this woman to speak to Carol so familiarly.

“It’s 4’oclock in the morning on Christmas day!” Carol replied in a whisper loud enough to travel. “You nitwit, come back in the morning.” Carol didn’t accept but the smile across her lips and the playfulness in her tone made it clear she was quite entertained by this woman.

“Oh!” the woman called up to Carol flirtatiously, Therese thought. “You aren’t alone, are you?”

“No,” Carol answered. “It’s all right, would you like to come in?”

The woman exited her car and set towards the front door. Therese felt an urgency run through her and she made her way across the bedroom and opened the door. Carol was entering the hall tying her robe around her waist when she noticed Therese emerge.

“Sorry I woke you, go back to bed.”

“I don’t mind,” Therese whispered. “Mind if I come down?”

“Of course,” Carol said with a wink. She turned towards the stairs and Therese followed.

The woman from outside was already inside the house. When she heard Carol coming down the stairs she called out, “Who did this tree? It’s marvelous!”

“She did,” Carol said gesturing to Therese. “Abby, this is Therese Belivet. Therese, Abby.”

“Hello!” Abby extended a hand to Therese. “You make a fine tree.”

Therese shook Abby’s hand. “Thank you, it’s wonderful to meet you.” Surely anyone Carol found worthy of her time was someone Therese wanted to know.

“Do you have any coffee, Carol?” Abby made her way to the kitchen, clearly knowing her way around the place.

In the kitchen Abby took off her coat revealing a purple knitted suit. It fit her figure well and she had a confidence in the way she moved that Therese envied. Abby was probably around Carol’s age, or older by just a year or two. She helped Carol prepare coffee and orange juice and Therese looked on from the counter content to watch their dynamic. Abby said something that Therese couldn’t hear, or more it was she couldn’t understand, and it made Carol laugh and smile making Therese think they must have their own language only they two could comprehend. Looking at the pair she wished she could make Carol laugh like that, make Carol feel at ease.

Abby brought a tray over to the table and Therese sat down. “Let’s get to it. How’s Harge?”

“The same,” Carol said. Abby commented on a pocket gadget-like thing she saw the other day while shopping that reminded her of Carol’s soon to be ex-husband. Carol laughed and said she’d pass it on to Harge. It became clearer that Abby probably knew him well. Probably knew Rindy too.

Abby turned to Therese, “So where are you from?”

Therese, not expecting the conversation to turn towards her, straightened in her chair. “I’m from New York.”

Abby smiled and reached into her purse to pull out a cigarette and lighter. She offered one to Therese before pulling the cigarette back, “Are you old enough to smoke?” Abby joked. She chuckled slightly at her own wit.

Carol looked at Therese then Abby and said, “Abby, stop now…”

But if the comment upset Therese she never let on. She could handle a joke and smiled along with Abby. “Thanks, I’ll take one,” she said.

“So,” Abby started. “I got your message, are you going to keep me in suspense?”

Carol turned sad in an instant. “I didn’t win the first round,” Carol said. Abby seemed to understand what she meant by that but Therese felt alone in the dark. She felt like a spectator watching a play unfold before her eyes and there was information the audience was not yet privy to.

“And for how long?” Abby dragged on her cigarette.

“Three months.”

“Starting when?!”

“Starting now. Well, last night to be exact.” Carol was looking down into her coffee swirling the remaining liquid in the mug. She couldn’t bring herself to meet Abby or Therese’s eyes.

“Certainly that’s not settled already,” Abby tried to be comforting.

“Oh, but it is,” Carol looked up at Abby. Therese noticed Carol was making a strong effort to suppress all of the sadness, rage, and despair she probably feeling inside. Carol directed at Abby, “What are you doing later? Call me sometime.”

“Sure…” Abby didn’t know Therese, didn’t know how Carol knew Therese and for how long, but she sensed that for whatever reason, Carol did not want to discuss the matter any further here or now. She knew Rindy was Carol’s world, her solace. For Harge, the lawyers, and the court to restrict Carol from seeing Rindy for three months, Abby couldn’t fathom how the justice system could come to such a decision! Usually she knew exactly how to comfort Carol but in this moment, given this situation, she was unsure what she could do.

“I’d take a trip if I were you,” Abby suggested. “Somewhere away from here.” Abby looked at Therese in an attempt to include her in the conversation. Therese appreciated it but the effort was in vain. And now Therese was spinning at the thought of Carol leaving, right when they were beginning. She looked to Carol for a reaction.

Carol was thinking. “I don’t think I’m quite in the mood…” but there was a flexibility in her response that was enough reason for Therese to worry.

The three chatted some more and nibbled at toast that had been sitting too long. The sun began to fill the windows of the kitchen with yellow light and the change in atmosphere caused Carol to look at the time.

“7:30… would you like to sleep more, Therese?” Carol looked at her lovingly.

“No, I’m quite fine.”

“I’ll drive you back into the city whenever you want.”

Before Therese answered Abby interjected, “Oh, I’m headed there myself let me give you a ride, Therese! I’ll take you anywhere you need to go.” Therese thought it kind of Abby and for either Carol or Therese to insist upon otherwise would have created skepticism into their friendship, relationship, whatever this was, that neither of the two were ready for. 

Therese soon went up to change and gather her things before coming down the stairs to leave with Abby. When she came back down she caught a glimpse of Abby and Carol down the hall in the kitchen. Abby was hugging Carol, patting her back and stroking Carol’s hair. Carol hugged Abby back and placed her head in the crook of the other woman’s neck. Carol was composed and she didn’t cry, still, she seemed to enjoy the comfort from Abby. Therese was happy Carol had someone, even though it pained her that she couldn’t be that someone yet. When the two walked up to the front door Therese pretended like she had been fastening her coat so the women could keep their intimate moment between them. Carol hugged Therese goodbye and wished her once more a Merry Christmas.

Abby and Therese drove back into Manhattan with the top down and Therese laughed at the eccentricity of the situation. “So, where’d ya meet Carol?” Abby called out loudly competing with the roaring wind.

“In a store!” Therese didn’t feel much like elaborating, partly due to the absurdity of the situation and also due to the difficulty to hear any conversation in this environment altogether.

“Oh, how interesting!” Abby responded.

“How do you know Carol!” Therese bellowed. It humored Therese that Abby expected to have any conversations in her vehicle with the top down in December.

“I’ve known Carol since she was four! We’ve known each other all our lives.”

Therese was amazed at the thought of a friendship enduring for so many years, through so many stages of life! Abby must know Carol better than anyone on earth, Therese thought.

When they turned onto Therese’s street, Therese pointed out which apartment building was hers. She thanked Abby immensely and could tell Abby truly had been more than happy to drive her home. Before exiting the car Therese asked, “Would you mind doing me a favor? I just have a gift for Carol but I need to grab the card from upstairs.”

Abby nodded and didn’t seem to mind at all. Therese hurried up her apartment’s stairs and made her way into her unit. She grabbed an envelope with black ink calligraphy on the outside that was left in the center of her kitchen table. Running back down to Abby’s car, Therese handed her the box with the handbag inside, now with the card slid between its ribbons.

“You will see her tonight won’t you?”

Abby nodded. Something in Abby’s eyes made Therese feel exposed, revealed. Therese thanked her again and Abby was on her way. The open-topped car disappeared into the distance as if it was never there at all. When Therese reached the mailbox on the first floor of her building, she sifted through her mail and saw a few greeting cards, one from Frankenberg’s, one from the McElroy brothers who were two of Richard’s friends who had become her own, and a couple advertisements. Therese stepped into her apartment and was struck with a feeling of both elatedness and emptiness. She had spent the night at Carol’s and got to know her more through every meeting. But being alone now, back in her apartment... it jetted Therese back into her reality, making Carol and Christmas Eve feel like a distant lucid dream.


	5. Destiny Has Its Reasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas Day. Therese spends the day with Richard and his family and attempts to better understand her feelings for Carol. Carol and Abby share a night cap and touch upon their past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, thank you for being here!

Richard’s family absolutely adored Therese, especially his mother. She thought of Therese like a daughter, having none of her own, and Therese wondered if the woman would’ve doted on any girl Richard brought home for that reason. But nevertheless Mrs. Semco was always sweet, and a few weeks prior she had insisted on hand sewing Therese a dress specially made to fit her. When Therese had been measured for the frock, Richard’s mother mentioned how thrilled she’d be to make Therese a wedding dress someday for when she and Richard married. The thought had startled Therese so that her eyes bulged, her skin went pale, and she had a visceral reaction that Mrs. Semco caught glimpse of reflected in the mirror Therese was standing before. “Fair, fair…” Mrs. Semco had said. “You can decide if my skills are up to the task after I make you this one!” They both laughed. Therese was grateful Mrs. Semco had made a joke out of it and that she didn’t have to explain her reaction to any degree. She truly was a kind-natured woman, Mrs. Semco.

Christmas Day at Richard’s family home was full of Russian cultural traditions, delicious food, up tempo music and dance, and most importantly, happy family celebration. Wouldn’t it be so simple, Therese thought, if she could just love Richard? Sometimes Therese very much wanted to be a puzzle piece that fit in line with the picture of a life with Richard, a part of his family, but she knew that day would never come.

The family did presents not long after Therese and Richard had arrived around 1. Mrs. Semco was absolutely beaming as she presented Therese with a long flat box beautifully wrapped in red foil paper topped with a gold bow.

“Merry Christmas, Therese!” Mrs. Semco said. “And if you hate it, just say the word! I’ll take you to Bamberger’s this week and buy you any dress you’d like.”

“I’m sure it’ll be lovely,” Therese smiled receiving the package from Mrs. Semco’s hands. “Thank you.”

Other members of Richard’s family were preoccupied opening small gifts here or there and sipping pink eggnog. Only Richard and his mother watched Therese as she delicately pulled off the gold bow and set it to the side. Once the paper was removed, Therese lifted the top of the box and unfolded the white tissue paper. She sighed seeing the dress sitting neatly in its box. It indeed was lovely, powder blue with lace trim on the collar and short sleeved cuffs. It was a beautiful dress for the summer or a warm spring day but more than the design, Therese was so moved by the effort Richard’s mother had invested into it. She looked at the perfect stitching, noted the petite contours. She felt that now she understood the expression “made with love.” 

“Do you like it?” Mrs. Semco had the grandest smile on her face as if she were the one receiving such a heartfelt gift.

Therese was speechless. She too had a smile on her face as she held the dress by its shoulders. Then her eyes welled up with light tears. She looked at Mrs. Semco then at Richard, and then she had to look away. Although she did not love Richard, it did break her somewhere inside knowing their compassion for her was genuine and she had only been maintaining a façade. 

“I think she likes it, Mamma,” Richard said. “You really out did yourself!” Richard kissed his mother on the cheek then sat down next to Therese putting an arm around her.

“It is truly beautiful, Mrs. Semco,” Therese managed to get out. “I hope you didn’t go to too much trouble for my sake.”

“Nonsense, Therese, you’re family!”

After supper Therese and Richard took a walk through the surrounding neighborhood. “Are you sure you want to go out there, Terry? It’s freezing!” Richard had said. But Therese felt now more than ever she needed a dose of fresh air.

Richard had tried to hold her hand as they walked but Therese pulled hers back before he could manage, citing the cold weather and needing to keep both hands warm in her coat pockets. If he had been upset, Therese hadn’t noticed. Breathing in the frosty air, the sound of snow crunching under her boots, Therese didn’t take note of any of it. The young woman was deep in thought.

She knew she didn’t love Richard, that she understood and could grasp. But how does one know when they’re in love? Therese remembered when she was fourteen, there was a boy her age who went to the brother school in Montclair. She would see him sometimes at school events or while riding the bus and she remembered how for a month or so she thought of him everyday. That was the most intense feeling she had ever felt for another person, that sense of longing and hopefulness that made her brush her hair a few strokes more and wish on stars before falling asleep. Of course that was just a crush and what Therese felt for Carol was so much more, but was it love?

Love could be painful, as she saw many times on the silver screen, but wasn’t it usually joyful when it started? A man and a woman meet on vacation, say, and the two strike up a flirtation, he asks her to dinner that night and the rest is summer lovin’ until they tragically have to return home. If she and Carol were wrapped up in something, something Therese felt could possibly be love, why did she feel so sad? Girls in love typically had a smile plastered on their faces, head in the clouds, a song being hummed between their lips. But that wasn’t Therese’s mental state at all… After more complicated thinking, like a light bulb it went off in Therese’s head. Maybe it was because she and Carol were women. With Richard it had been obvious he was courting her when they met because society teaches you that when a young man gives attention it can only mean he’s interested. Every young woman had been raised to know that this was the dream, to have a dashing suitor ringing in the morning and taking her to dinner in the night. Love between men and women was simple because not only was it allowed to be open, to be ostentatious, it was celebrated. Therese was young and naïve. She had heard of women liking other women before but had no reference for what that entailed. All she knew was that Carol was her sun and she was the earth revolving around her, incapable of deviating from her destiny that one day they would collide.

“There you are far, far away again…” Richard sighed.

Slightly annoyed he had broken her train of thought, Therese answered, her tone a tad short, “You’re always saying that but I’m here aren’t I? What do you mean?”

“Yeah, I know you’re here but you’re never present.”

“How deep, Richard.”

“Terry, I’m serious!” His tone wasn’t angry and it wasn’t aggressive, but he was clearly bottling up feelings Therese sensed earlier would soon emerge. “What were you thinking about?”

Wasn’t that the million dollar question. She pondered what she could say, how honest she wanted to be...

“Love.”

“What about lo—”

“—How many times have you been in love, Richard?”

Richard raised his eyebrows and chuckled, “You know never until you.”

“Please,” Therese teased. “I know there were at least two others.”

“But they weren’t love, it wasn’t near what I feel for you.” He turned to her, looking lovingly into her eyes to attempt sharing a moment but Therese was too preoccupied.

“Have you ever been in love with a boy?” her tone had gone serious again letting Richard know this wasn’t a joke.

“What? Terry, no! Where do you come from asking questions like that!”

“But surely you’ve heard of it…” Therese said.

“Of a man loving another man, sure I have but—”

“Or a woman loving another woman.”

Richard looked perplexed, Therese wasn’t sure if she was thankful he was too dense to see right through her or if she was annoyed. They had stopped walking and were standing on a sidewalk in the night. Richard looked into Therese’s eyes and she into his.

Without looking away she said, “Do you think that could happen to me?”

Richard studied her face, saw the earnest expression waiting for a response. Then to Therese’s surprise Richard started to chuckle.

“Well, you are quite the philosophical one these days!” he said. “C’mon let’s get back inside, like I said it’s absolutely freezing!” He linked his arm with hers and set back for the house.

Therese was in a trance. She couldn’t believe she had spoken those thoughts aloud but took comfort in the clarity she was beginning to deduce. She concluded that not everything required a definition, some feelings were just meant to be felt. The only thing she was sure of was that she needed to see Carol again soon.

* * *

“A morality clause?!” Abby exclaimed. “Where in the hell did they pull that out of?”

It was 11o'clock Christmas night and Abby had stopped by at Carol’s after both women finished their other engagements. Carol had told Abby all of the details about her meeting with the lawyers from the other day. How Harge, spiteful that Carol wasn’t interested in reconciliation, had slapped her with an injunction that prohibited Carol from seeing Rindy for three long months. The lawyers had said it was an issue of Carol’s fitness as a mother, an issue concerning her moral compass. Abby couldn’t understand it and to be honest, neither could Carol. She was shocked at Harge’s cruelty, thinking him to be many things but cruel had never been one of them. She missed Rindy, she missed Therese, she thought her head would explode with the amount of thoughts swirling in her mind. When it rains it pours, she thought.

Carol sipped her martini then placed it on an end table next to the sofa. She and Abby sat on opposite ends of the same couch with their shoes off and feet underneath them. Carol leaned on her hand with elbow rested atop the couch’s back, eyes closed.

Carol was a woman so elegant she normally filled a room. To see her look so crushed disturbed Abby, it made her protective as well.

“Carol, if I had anything to do with this…”

“Don’t you dare,” Carol’s eyes shot up as she lifted her head towards Abby. “Never think that again.”

The two women finished their drinks and sat in comfortable silence. The radio was on playing instrumental Christmas music that made Carol think of the first time Therese had come to her house and played her baby grand. The song Therese had played drew little comparison to the jazz rendition of “Winter Wonderland” heard in Carol’s living room now, but a mind in constant preoccupation with a particular subject required little provocation to be triggered.

It had started to snow again and Carol and Abby watched it paint the trees white outside through a large window in the living room.

“Hey,” Abby began, “remember that snowstorm that one year? It was the worst we had seen in years… we were snowed in for a few days if I remember right.”

Carol smiled recalling the memory. “Of course, I remember! What was it, 12 or more inches, no?”

“Had to have been,” Abby said, laughing then sipping her drink. After a beat of silence, “You know, that was one of the best nights of my life…”

Carol looked at Abby with melancholy in her eyes. That was the night it snowed so hard the roads had all been shut down. Carol and Abby had visited Abby’s mother at her home in Caldwell not anticipating that a storm was about to hit. Abby’s mother insisted the girls stay there for the night or so, but the trouble was that the guest rooms were under renovation, they had needed a fresh coat of paint Abby’s mother had said. So, the two ladies bunked together in Abby’s old room. Carol remembered, and surely Abby did too, how close the woman had grown since being childhood friends. After Abby moved back to Jersey from her stint in Europe and Carol had been married to Harge, the two had entered each other’s lives again, even opened a furniture shop together as equal partners. Abby had always had a tender place for Carol in her heart, Carol could’ve sworn it had started when she was six and Abby eight, but as adults they were simply best friends, business partners, confidants. Until that fateful snowstorm. Carol is almost certain nothing would’ve happened if she and Abby weren’t forced to share a bed that night. After knowing one another almost their entire lives, the timing aligned and it happened. It only lasted two months but Carol had loved Abby, and Abby Carol. Their love now had changed of course but their bond of friendship could never be undone.

“Me too,” Carol agreed. “Even when it doesn’t work out, things happen for a reason don’t they?” Although Carol had been referring to her and Abby, her mind now landed on Therese. Surely they had crossed paths for a reason. They came from completely different worlds and would have never overlapped in a social or professional group. Carol wouldn’t stop until that reason was revealed.

The conversation shifted and Abby remembered Therese had given her a package to give to Carol. “Oh, Carol, I almost forgot one moment.”

Abby got off the sofa and walked to her car just outside Carol’s front door on the U-shaped driveway. Carol watched her go and come and when Abby returned, she had a medium sized square box in her hand that was wrapped on all sides with red ribbon folded into a perfect bow on top. 

“Abby, no,” Carol said. “We said we weren’t exchanging gifts this year don’t tell me you—”

“Oh just stop speaking for one second!” Abby teased. “This isn’t from me, Therese gave it to me this morning to give to you.”

Carol’s eyes widened and she immediately felt touched at the thoughtfulness. She did, though, feel it unnecessary for Therese to have gotten her anything at all. Abby sat back down on the couch opposite Carol who was untying the ribbon atop the gift. When she lifted the box’s lid a stunning black leather bag with gold buckles was revealed. She adored the handbag but lamented at the fact that Therese shouldn't have bought her something so fine. Carol picked it up, tossed it in her hands noticing the craftsmanship. As she did so a card in a white envelope slipped out from the wrapping and landed on the floor.

Abby lunged to grab the card but Carol was quicker and scooped it up out of Abby’s reach.

“Oh c’mon, Carol!” Abby giggled. “Let me read it, I want to know what the hell is going on between you two! Look at that bag!”

Abby was on Carol’s right so Carol held the card high up in the air in her left hand. Carol laughed, “My dear Abby! Have you no sense of privacy?” Abby settled and pretended to pout while Carol tucked the card into the pocket of her robe.

“I thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other?” Abby said as she played the hurt best friend.

Carol rolled her eyes then softened. “I’ll let you know when I know, fair?”

Abby accepted that and watched as Carol placed the bag back in its wrapping to protect it. It really was a fine gift.

“With Therese, Carol,” Abby paused. “Tell me you know what you’re doing.”

Carol’s face landed in a half smile. “I never did.”

When Abby had left to return home, Carol felt horribly alone. She washed the martini glasses and fixed the cushions on the sofa before heading upstairs for bed. When she took her robe off to get under the covers, she remembered the card from Therese tucked in the pocket. She tore at the seal of the envelope, wondering if Therese’s lips had touched the spot. She sat on the edge of her bed using the lamp on the nightstand for light:

_“Dearest Carol,_

_Merry Christmas. I hope you like the present, I saw it and instantly thought of you, though, it’d be hard to find any gift that could truly liken your beauty. I know I don’t know much, but it pains me to see you going through such dark times when my life has only become brighter from knowing you. I hope you found reasons to be joyful this Christmas Day. Hope to see you soon._

_With love,_

_Therese."_

Carol exhaled deeply and ran her fingers over the ink that said _Therese_. Oh, Therese... Carol thought.

"She'll be the death of me." 


	6. Go if you wish, Stay forever if you please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therese and Carol continue to slowly break down each other's barriers. The stage is being set for a love that is truthful, genuine, and equal. We're in the happy phase of love where every new fact learned about the other is both exciting and enticing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As these chapters go on and Carol and Therese's love begins to reach the surface of openness, I find myself needing more time to write and re-write. Thank you for being patient with the updates, I hope it continues to be worth the wait! Lastly, I am beyond appreciative for all of you who are consistently engaging with the story in the comments, you're the reason I continue to write.

Between the holidays, finishing work at Frankenberg’s, and Carol of course, Therese had completely forgotten she would soon be starting her next professional job. Richard had introduced her recently to Phil and Dannie McElroy like he promised, and Phil had mentioned that he knew of a short-term position at the NY Daily News. It wasn’t a full-time job he had made clear, but any experience would help Therese build her resume in order to pursue more lofty roles in photography and journalism. 

Because Phil knew someone at the paper, his recommendation of Therese had been enough to secure her the position. Therese was simply over the moon to have work in the field she loved instead of behind a counter in a department store, although that did have its perks…

The job was a one or two week assignment depending on the progression of the project. Therese would be shadowing a seasoned photographic journalist covering the opening of a new production of _La bohème_ at the Metropolitan Opera House on 39th.

Earlier that morning Therese had received a version of the opera’s translated score and a vinyl record of a previously recorded performance in hew mailbox. It was generous, she thought, that the paper had been willing to send her the materials in order to familiarize herself with the production. She placed the record on the table to play later and sat down with a cup of tea to read the score.

Around noontime Therese had received a call on the outside phone in the hall. When she answered it, her ears filled with the sultry, delectable sound of Carol’s voice.

“Hi,” Carol said in a low but cheerful tone. “I see you're home.”

“Yes, where are you?” Therese was delighted to hear from Carol, even happier to hear that she seemed to be in a pleasant mood.

“48th and Madison,” Carol said. “I can be there in ten?”

After hanging up the phone, Therese returned to her apartment and stopped in front of the mirror. She was still in her robe from this morning and didn’t have a touch of makeup on. At this point to hell with it, she thought. She changed into black slim pants with a green wool sweater, brushed her teeth once more, and splashed some cold water on her face to both refresh and cool herself down.

When Carol rang the bell and ascended up the stairs, Therese flew down to greet her.

“It’s a gift,” Carol said. “For you.” She referenced the wrapped suitcase she was carrying in her right hand. Therese was gleaming at the present and euphoric to see Carol.

When they made it up to Therese’s apartment, Therese lay the suitcase on her couch before tearing open the brown paper wrapping. Even before seeing the actual present Therese was grinning from ear to ear. Carol stood over Therese watching her excitement and thinking how many stars she would gift Therese just to see her react in this way again and again.

“Oh, Carol, it’s terribly gorgeous!” Therese said.

The suitcase was made of fine leather. A light brown shade that was classic and plain, and Therese noticed that Carol had had her initials pressed on it in gold lettering.

“Carol, you really shouldn’t have!”

“Me, shouldn’t have?” Carol said. “ _You_ shouldn’t have! That handbag you gave me, I absolutely love it, Therese, but you didn’t have to get me something so magnificent.”

“You liked it?” Therese looked shy, touched that Carol loved the present as much as Therese loved buying it for her.

“Why of course,” Carol said. “You have excellent taste.”

“You’re only saying that because I wrote that it reminded me of you...”

“Exactly.” Carol was smirking, her eyes dazzling like diamonds.

Therese led Carol into the kitchen and offered her something to drink. As Therese put a kettle on the stove for tea, Carol noticed the opera recording and sheet music on Therese’s kitchen table.

“Are you a performer, Therese?” Carol asked, shocked. She sifted through the opera’s manuscript, intrigued to know Therese’s connection to the work before her.

“Oh, no!” Therese assured. “I’m a photographer—well, I’m trying to be one at least. I have a temporary job coming up working for the Daily News. They’re covering the opening of this new production at the Met.”

Carol looked at Therese with a new kind of smile on her face. A smile full of intrigue, astonishment, and admiration.

“Now why the hell didn’t you tell me you were a photographer?!”

“You never asked,” Therese said. She wasn’t annoyed, simply stating a fact.

And she was right. “God, Therese, I’m sorry,” Carol crossed the room to stand next to her at the kitchen sink. She faced her and placed a hand on Therese’s opposite shoulder. Carol lightly massaged her thumb into Therese’s collarbone. “I’ve been so off in space with my own worries I should’ve asked you what it is you do. I’m actually quite impressed…”

Therese felt a sense of pride, seeing how she was growing in Carol’s esteem. Breaking into the photography industry was difficult, often so discouraging that Therese rarely felt confident in her work or abilities. Subconsciously, Carol was becoming Therese’s muse and she already felt a jolt of inspiration flowing through her veins, starting in her shoulder where Carol had blessed with her long, elegant fingers.

“It’s my first real job,” Therese blushed. “And I’m not the lead photographer, more like an apprentice.”

Carol wasn’t going to let Therese sell herself short, whether she was just being modest for Carol’s sake or really lacked the confidence. “I’ve seen you, Therese. You’re observant, intuitive, and you did a wonder on that Christmas tree!” Both women laughed. “The Daily News doesn’t yet know how lucky they are.”

Therese internalized each word Carol said like a prayer that she would recite whenever doubt crept in. The words were nice, encouraging for sure, but it was Carol who said them. Carol who believed in her. It was Carol… Carol…

The tea kettle whistled startling both women, and Therese moved to turn off the flame. Carol was left in front of the sink and laughed, “You see, I didn’t make a mistake, did I?”

“How do you come?” Therese called over her shoulder.

Carol crossed her arms and leaned back on the counter while looking at Therese fuss with the kettle. “About you.”

“Had you thought you might’ve?”

“No…” Carol confirmed. “I look forward to searching what other cards are up your sleeve.”

Therese turned her back to Carol to steep the tea bags in the boiling water. She looked up, smiled, and shut her eyes tight, soaking up every ray of happiness in this moment. She allowed the tea to rest while grabbing mugs out of the cupboard. Carol had walked into the living room to notice the trinkets and books on Therese’s red, eclectic bookshelf and she took note of some pictures on the walls. Carol thought how funny it was that Therese was covering the production of La bohème seeing how bohemian her lifestyle seemed to be as well. On the top shelf there was a wooden Madonna figure that Carol thought was actually quite beautiful.

“These photos on the walls,” Carol began. “are any of them your work?”

Therese walked over from the kitchen. “No,” she said. “I actually don’t show anyone my pictures. They’re not ready, is all…”

“Not this coyness again…” Carol moaned.

“I promise I’ll show you soon!” Therese walked nearer towards Carol. Carol looked Therese up then down. “I have a feeling my next round of work will be a lot more… inspired.” Therese thought of the only thing she wanted to shoot for the rest of her life. The endless angles, the countless moods, her Mona Lisa come to life.

Carol conceded. “All right,” she said with a smile.

Carol and Therese sat at the kitchen table drinking tea and exchanging glances behind the veils of smoke from their cigarettes. For the first time since they had met Carol felt like she was truly getting to know the woman Therese was. Therese told her about her path to photography, her move to New York after school, the things she liked to do in the morning after waking up and the things she liked to do at night before going to bed. Carol listened intently, as if she were guiltily making up for all the time until now when she hadn’t asked these questions before.

Therese wasn’t keen on talking about herself but only began to fully open up when Carol insisted. Carol listened to every word she said. Therese noticed how the corners of Carol’s mouth raised when she was excited to hear more and how her left eyebrow jumped when she was surprised at the conclusion. Underneath the socialite appearance and the mask of indifference, Therese felt she was experiencing the real Carol. A Carol she may have met before her marriage, before her divorce, before all of the hardships of life had poured down and calloused her.

“You really are a dear for letting me spend so much time with you,” Carol said. “These days I don’t very much feel like seeing the people I normally do.” She was staring down into her empty mug with just the remnants of tea at the bottom.

“So don’t,” Therese said. Carol darted her head up and Therese noticed her blushing. “What I mean, is—” attempting to soften her boldness, “How about we do something tonight? We can spend the evening together.”

“I don’t know,” Carol replied. She wanted to be selfish, wanted to soak up every one of Therese’s hours in her day, but Carol thought twice. Just because my life is off its tracks, why should I derail hers? Carol still hadn’t made up her mind, still hadn’t decided how far she would allow things to go. But seeing how her passion and need for the woman only grew with every fact learned about her, Carol knew she couldn’t resist.

“You don’t know?”

“Well, alright,” Carol conceded. “But I’ll ring you around 6. I think I’d like to go look at some furniture this afternoon.”

“Why furniture?” Therese curiously inquired.

Carol’s icy blue eyes sparkled, “I guess we still have a lot of getting to know each other to do.”

Carol stood and scooped up her fur coat hanging off the back of the kitchen chair. Once the coat graced her shoulders once more, in a singular motion she fluffed her hair and became the movie star looking beauty Therese couldn’t peel her eyes away from in Frankenberg’s. Therese walked towards Carol to show her out on her way, and when they reached the door Carol nonchalantly slipped her arm around Therese’s waist. The hug was longer than a normal afternoon goodbye needed to be, but neither of the women rushed to let go. Therese closed her eyes and took in Carol’s divine perfume. It was as if so many unsaid words and not yet understood feelings were communicated in their embrace. For Carol, it was “Please wait…” Wait for me to be ready, wait for me to sort out this mess… and for Therese it was simply, “Yes, yes, yes…”

When they parted they remained close. Therese waited for Carol to move first, to go if she wished or stay forever if she pleased. The look on her face told Therese she was ready to say something. In Therese’s head she already had a response, “I love you too.”

But to Therese’s shock and dissatisfaction Carol said, “I think I’ll go on that trip.”

It was the part of a wondrous dream where one wakes up and longs to close their eyes and return. Therese had never forgotten Abby’s recommendation but she more than anything wished Carol had. With how lovely things have been, how could Carol abandon her now? She opened her mouth to ask when, for how long, and why...

“Terrrry!” Richard was knocking from outside the door and his pounding had the same effect on them both as did Harge’s the first time Therese had been to Carol’s. “Are you home? Open up!”

Carol knew in her bones it was Richard and knew it was time to go.

“Well,” Carol breathed. “I best be on my way. If you change your mind about tonight, it’s not important.”

But nothing in this world could be nearly as important to Therese. Carol didn’t wait for a response and grabbed the doorknob to exit. When she opened the door, Richard was quite startled to see a woman so beautiful, and also some years older than Therese, inside the apartment. Therese had the good sense to introduce them seeing as Carol was waiting to make the acquaintance.

“Richard,” Therese relented. “This is Mrs. Carol Aird. Carol, this is Richard…”

“Lovely to meet you, Richard,” Carol was perfectly amiable. “I’ve heard so many things.”

Richard looked confused but didn’t forgot his manners. “Nice to meet you as well,” he said pushing his way into the apartment. “Would you like to sit down?”

Hah! Carol thought. It’s funny he talks as if it was he who owned the place… “No, that’s all right, I’m actually on my way out,” she said politely.

“But you can certainly stay if you’d like,” Therese implored.

“No,” Carol’s voice was certain. “I’ll call on you around 6, but again, it’s really nothing,” Carol reiterated. And with that Carol was gone and down the stairs. Therese stepped outside to watch her leave until she disappeared. Just when she thought Carol would vanish from her sight, Carol stopped and turned around. She paused, looking into Therese’s eyes tenderly. Carol’s lips pursed into a faint smile before she lifted her hand and waved, “Go on!” And with that she was gone.

Therese returned back into the apartment and noticed Richard helping himself to some cheese and bread from her ice box. In that moment he seemed like a wild thing to her, a brute. The antithesis of a heavenly body like Carol. When Therese got to the kitchen she did not sit but stood, peering down at Richard and attempting to convey a message of wanting him to be on his way. It wasn’t his fault Carol left, she was already on her way, but just the fact that Carol was gone and he was now here was a juxtaposition so strong it repulsed Therese.

“So how’d ya meet this woman?” Richard talked with a full mouth between bites of bread. Therese felt hypersensitive to Richard’s every action.

“I helped her in the store around Christmas,” Therese said coldly. “We meet from time to time.”

“Oh, you never told me,” Richard seemed hurt to know Therese kept part of her life from him.

“Why? Must I tell you everything?”

Richard leaned into his chair, taken aback by Therese’s annoyance that didn’t seem justified. “God, Terry. Should I not be interested in your life?”

“There’s a difference between interest and control.”

“Control? What are you talking about!” Therese realized she might be taking her own frustrations out on Richard. It wasn’t that she wanted to fight, she simply wanted him to leave her in peace.

“I just want to work on preparing for my job, Richard,” her tone softened. “I’m just stressed is all.”

Richard saw this as a moment to comfort Therese. He got up and wrapped her in a tight hug.

“Don’t worry, Terry,” he cooed. “You’re gonna be great, stop overwhelming yourself.”

This hug was nothing like the one she had shared with Carol only moments prior. Richard’s was rough, suffocating, and more than anything unwanted. She burrowed herself out of his hold and tried her best to smile.

“Say, why don’t we see a movie tonight, just you and me!” Richard became excited. “It’ll take your mind off things and I think we could use it.”

“I have plans with Mrs. Aird tonight.”

“Doing what? Just don’t go.”

“I promised, Richard!” Therese said. “And frankly, I rather do that.”

Richard fully got the message that Therese was not interested in spending any more time with him today. What Therese never understood was why he put up with her disinterest and why he still came back the next day every time.

“Alright, that’s fine,” Richard looked dejected. “I suppose women need their female time.”

Therese held her tongue and took a deep breath, knowing that if she snapped at him it would only result in him being here longer. “Goodbye, Richard.” And soon he left.

Despite acting vague at the end of their visit, Carol called at 6:10. She told Therese she was at the St. Regis and to pick her up there.

“And when you come,” Carol had said, “we’re on our way to a cocktail party you’ve invited me to… get it?”

“I thought it was a Christmas benefit dinner?”

“Funny,” Carol was impressed. “Just hurry up.”

Therese flew to the St. Regis and found Carol waiting outside with an awfully attractive man, probably in his forties, who Therese learned to be Stanley McVeigh. He had his hand on the small of Carol’s back and Carol appeared to be laughing emphatically at whatever Mr. McVeigh had to say. Therese’s blood boiled slightly at the sight of Carol so intimate with a man, but she remembered how wonderful of an actress Carol could be when she chose. Sometimes it frightened her.

When Carol caught sight of Therese turning the corner of the St. Regis, she waved and paid her goodbyes to the man next to her. He nodded hello at Therese and paid a taxi driver to take the women wherever they needed to go.

Carol felt Therese’s eyes on her skin. “He’s an old friend, I see him from time to time now that Harge and I aren’t together.” If Carol had planned to toy with Therese, she had forgotten who she was playing against.

“Well,” Therese added. “You two just look lovely together.” Her expression let Carol know she was proud of her own spunk.

Carol huffed, smiled, then turned to speak to the driver. “Chinatown please.”

When they arrived in Chinatown it had begun to pour. The two women paid no mind, huddling close and ducking underneath street awnings to stay protected from the rain. They went in a few shops here and there, looking at many things and buying a few. Carol bought a couple small toys for Rindy but wasn’t tempted into buying anything for herself. In another store Carol had admired a pair of black platform sandals but had decided she simply didn’t need them. However, when the two women arrived at an elegant uptown restaurant an hour later, Therese pulled the sandals out of one of their shopping bags and Carol was much delighted.

The women had a marvelous evening, sharing secret hobbies, interesting quarks, and intimate glances. At one moment during dinner, Carol’s foot had accidentally brushed against Therese’s and at first she had apologized. By dessert, the top of Carol’s foot remained tucked around Therese’s left ankle.


End file.
